Self Reflection

Current Location: World Below
Main Characters: Odessa
Side Characters: Raynar, Zidala

    (This happens after the beach incident in the World Below.)

    Odessa was resting she had pushed her physical limits when searching for signs of Krauser after he was taken. Then that blasted Gorgon Raynar showed up looking like someone used him to set an example. After having taken out many of his men in an ambush.

    Unfortunately for Raynar while he did avenge his men and even swung the tide of the area by taking out the grovekin known as Sprout who was orchestrating much of the resistance he was extremely beaten up and no longer in combat shape. He refused advanced medical treatment at the camp that could have fixed much more of the damage he had taken, his hand was lost in the fight and his eye as well.
    
    The base camp could not restore those but they did have good medicine. Instead, he waited until his men met up and they treated him with what they had. Magic is no small feat and a very capable way of being healed but his people had less to offer than the camp did so it made no sense to Odessa why he chose to remain maimed. But then again when she thinks about it and knows what she knows now of this place and what all it's capable of why does she?
    
    She knows for a fact that Krauser could regrow her a new body, "pristine" even as it would not even have a single scar or imperfection. Yet he has never offered to do so, nor would she have accepted if he had. Krauser likely knows this and that is why he has never offered so why wouldn't she? She thinks about this and it's kept her up a lot lately. Realizing that the injuries she has are physical memories as much as reminders of what she has gone through. She barely remembers acquiring the cybernetic limbs she has, but she remembers why she needs them.
    
    However, she has learned that it wasn't her fault. The experiment that blew up and maimed her and killed her father and best friend at the same time was due to an outside force causing it to happen and her experiment was a success. So for the love of god, why does she keep these metal limbs? Maybe because she was only 15 when she got them and she has had them now much longer than her original arms and legs. So she isn't sure she could function or even do what she does without them.
    
    After all, she utilizes the fact that her arms and legs are inhuman in her fighting style. Able to attack at strange and unusual angles from almost any position. So if she was to get fixed what would that mean for who she is now and how would it affect her? Raynar doesn't have these same issues of course but maybe it is due to something she doesn't know about. It was revealed that Raynar had once housed the spirit of the grovekin people in his body, after having destroyed the physical form of it at one point. Then he had to once again kill a grovekin. A people he had seemed to want to protect and help.
    
    Is he struggling with his inner demons about the situation? His injuries will only hurt him in combat. No longer able to hold both his impressive shield and massive spear at the same time. It was his spear hand that was severed. His left eye was taken so his shield arm was not able to see where it needed to be to protect himself. Yet still Raynar won out in the end. A warrior of no little skill and his use of wind to enhance himself surprised Sprout who was taken out in a single devastating blow after a long battle of him chipping away at Raynar piece by piece.
    
    "Should I do it? Do these limbs define who I am, or will I still be me without them?"
    
    It's been days since they arrived here yet she has not left her room. Too caught up in the moment inside her head to be of help.
    
    "Damn it! I need a drink and my favorite drinking hole isn't here!"

   ***

   Odessa was at a turning point would she continue as she has been or will she brave a new frontier.   Everything had happened so fast there at the end and she was over clocking her brain to the point of actually having memory loss and even some memory corruption.  Biological brains are not meant to process the amount of information she was processing as quickly as she was processing it while conscious.  She doesn't even remember how in the hell she got here or where in the universe here is.  It was making her feel melancholy and that was something extraordinarily rare for her.   She was disconnected from where she was physically and from the people around here and the plight they are in.

   "I fucking hate this!"
   
   A spanner wrench goes flying across her makeshift space on the spacecraft.   Her chest was rising and falling in anger as she breathed.  A literal full blown temper tantrum was happening inside of her workshop.  This is bad enough when a child does it now imagine a woman capable of hurling boulders and crushing metal in her hands when she gets angry.   Needless to say, she had a do not disturb sign written in multiple languages pasted on her door, and the door locked from the inside as she attempted to work through her own emotions the only way she knew how and it was anything but pretty.   Tears of rage, and frustration rolled down her face.  Screams of anger roared out of her tiny body as if daring the very gods to throw even more at not just herself but the people she had come to love and protect.   It was because of those feelings she was so angry she felt that she had let the people that depended upon her and those like her to protect them down.
   
   All the time that Krauser has gone through similar things she wonders how the man has not gone insane with the mental turmoil.  Especially when public opinion of him turned sour.  Everyone suddenly believing he was a bad man and had been abusing his power when it was so painfully obvious to anyone that actually knew the man he was doing the opposite.  He never seemed to let the power consume him, he did what needed to be done, sometimes made the tough calls but he wouldn't resort to that unless no other option was available.  Hell, the man helped his people go through a time flux to escape destruction.  Yes they still tried to brand him a traitor to his people.
   
   He has sacrificed much she read in the history logs he had been married once before and that they had been slaughtered by the Black Empire.   Even still he allowed the then reformed, freed of Bahamura's spirit, Grey to live while his own wife and child had been killed.   She knew she would not have been able to make that same choice.  She would have given in to her emotions and executed the man, possessed or not at the time of the crime.  She was pushing herself using her rage to exhaust her body but she found it so damn hard to get physically exhausted anymore, and she was well beyond mentally and emotionally exhausted.
   
   "Can I still do this job, do I have the strength to go on?"
   
   She was feeling sorry for herself, having a little pity party i her head before she chucked the last tool nearby across the room.  She was still fuming mad but this exercise was becoming increasingly less helpful.  Normally back home she might find someone at the tavern to help with stress relief but she can't do that here.  All the noise she has been making she was pretty sure no one would notice the difference in the types or screams as she made her way into her bedroom.  A little personally gratification, but she was never one to do things simply.  So some industrial equipment had been modified for personal use.....

   End.